What's happenin?

Hi guys!

So trying to update a little more with stories and what not. Might be a bit hard to follow. I'll try to make it painfully obvious where, how and when, and I will try not to repeat to much of what I've already written earlier. Okay cobba'?

So the farm. The farm the farm the farm. Where to start? I was at the farm a total of three months. Well, to be fair I was there three and a half almost, but one of those weeks was spent on hospital as well. Cruel world. I made 20 dollars an hour, doing up to 60 hours of work per week. No option to spend a lot of it meant most of that ended up in my account and stayed there! We had our own house, our own car and we even got occasional free food. We had one of the most wonderful families right next door and they had three amazing children. I can't tell you how many nights were spent in their house, drinking their beer, eating their food, playing on their xbox, but I can tell you this; they made the whole experience worth while.
 Moving on from the living and costs aspects (which weren't much since we didn't have to pay for anything), what did we do? Well, we milked about 400-500 cows, two times a day on a big rotary (think massive concrete merry-go-round). It took us just over two hours for each milking to be done (three to four in the beginning (how we managed that I have no idea)), and then we had to clean the dairy. We plowed fields and helped repair pipes. Everything that needed doing. That's that. Let's go into gritty details shall we?
 As when Chris accidentally released all the cows and they had to be chased back into their paddocks. As when I got 50 tonnes of shit kicked in my face and Chris was bent over laughing. As when Chris accidentally drove the loader straight into one of the quad-bikes, crushing it (and totaling it) against a wooden pole. Ah. Good times. But there are some things that are going to stick with me. Stuff I helped do, things we saw.
 Like the cute calves. So, so cute but utterly stupid. Often standing in an electric fence and going "Meeee. Meeee", as the electric currents hit them over and over again. The realization that male calves were worthless and all sent to the butchers when they were around three days old has taken veal straight out of my cookbooks. All the interesting facts about cows, learning how to treat them, learning how to feel and see if something was wrong. Actually finding yourself liking cows in the end. They are amazing creatures that we overlook because of how common (which often means boring to a lot of people) they are.
 One of the more disgusting aspects of dairy farming isn't the tremendous amount of shit you try to clean off, but the cow's problems. Mastitis (clots in the udder) and blood clots, which has to be manually milked out was a daily part of the milking. The complications that could arise when dealing with calving cows. We had one cow for instance that had twins. Sad to say we didn't see that she had a second calf until she collapsed. The vet came and had to remove a one and a half day rotten calf, sawing of the legs of it inside the mother with what looked like thin barbed wire. Me holding the tail up and patting it. Sadly the cow didn't survive. Nature is a cruel mistress.
 Happier things was how fun it was to see the cows jump and hop around when I drove the hay tractor in to feed them. Being nudged softly and complained to by a new mother when holding down their calf to tag and feed it. Petting and feeding the little calves and giving them names. Sitting around the fire at Sam and Amanda's (or Samanda's), having a cold beer and joking around. Going out and getting drunk with Chris, only to wake up a few hours later and start working again.
 What I'm trying to say is that I had a really good time. A time I'll remember for the rest of my life. And I'll definitely head back there if and when I come back to Australia.

So back to the present. We are at Rainbow beach, and on Sunday it's Fraser island again. I'm looking forward to it sooo much. It's going to be legendary.
 Speaking of legendary, me and Chris are being legends on the east coast. We are traveling with our two ukuleles and for the most part people love it. Everyone loves the pirate song especially, and I find myself singing it in almost every place we visit.
 I am running out of money a bit because I just bought my flight home. It's in the middle of June and I am looking forward to see everyone back home. Until then though there is plenty of adventures left. Best part? Everything is payed for. I also have a tax refund to look forward to. And reimbursement from Medicare for my hospital visit. All in all I hope that means I can go to Europe when I'm home and visit all the amazing people I've met so far.

That's it for now. I'll try to be better with the updates but ya know I'm busy having the time of my life.

Cya's!  
   

Quick update on a major turn of events

OI COBBA'

So I'm traveling the east coast again and having A BLAST!

I promise I'll try to sit down and write more in the days to come. What you need to know is that we have already done Melbourne, Sydney, Byron bay, Surfers paradise and now we are in Brisbane!

Byron was nothing short of amazing. Nice beach, awesome hostel (Backpacker's Inn) and people all worth remembering. I really enjoyed being back in Sydney again too. Such a wonderful city. And the Blue Mountains? Amazeballs. Really tremendous.

I am currently at Peter Pan and have to leave 'cause they close. I will update soon again and try to give ya guys more info.

See you on the flip side!

"It wasn't yesterday"

Hi guys! Long time no see.

As you might have figured out my wifi is dreadful. that coupled with a site that functions sporadically equals a dead blog. Also, I'm lazy.

Anyway, so what have I been doing lately?

Well, I have milked, cleaned shit, driven tractors, gone back to Melbourne, headed for Echuca, helped cows calving, fed and treated calves, gone to a footy training (australian football) and become totally spasticated in Barham. Among other things. I have also driven newborn calves on my lap on a motorcycle being covered in mucus and slime, destroyed a quad (technically it was Chris but whatevz) and taught Chris to play the ukulele. *Heavy breathing*

I can't seem to add pictures at all anymore which is a shame. I have A LOT of pictures. Giant moths, scenery, sky-views, newborn baby calves, and countless selfies litter my phone. As soon as I have a working comp I'll try to upload some. In the meantime I'll upload photos on Facebook (I technically live there anyway).

It is now about three weeks until me and Chris are done on the farm and head for the east coast. East coast again, you say? Well I had an amazing time the first time so why not? It just can't go wrong.

I have to go and make steak and chips. Mmmmm gravy with cheese.

I will tell you guys of all the above when the time comes. In the meantime, stay classy Barham

A birthday adventure with fallen cows

Heya!

So last update it was my birthday, and, as you probably have figured out already, I got smashed. Me and Chris went to the two local pubs and talked to a bunch of people. We learnt that the nearest club to go to is roughly an hour away by cat. Sigh.

The morning after me and Chris started milking and let me tell you, I was still drunk when I woke up. Chris was in the same shape as me and of course forgot to shut one of the gates properly which resulted in cows running rampant all over the farm. Needless to say nowadays we are very careful with closing everything properly.

The other days have passed with stuff being learnt and other things getting used to. One thing I can't seem to get used to though, is the gpd damn flies.

Disaster struck yesterday when one of the cows took a slide on the platform. As mentioned, it's just me and Chris ay the moment, so we kinda paniced a bit. Thank god she was able to stand after about fifteen minutes of me and Chris just staring at her wondering what to do.

Today, we weren't as lucky. Because whaddayaknow? Another cow tripped, slipped and fell on the platform. This one however, did not get up again. We had to pull her out from the platform and rescue her, then chase her back to the paddock. What a life for a farmer...

Our new wifi doesn't seem to work properly so I'll try to add pictures later. I promise I'll add some pictures of a baby-calf when I can!

Looking forward to coming home and see all of you guys! First though; 1, make a lot of money, 2, book a party trip, 3, get royaly smashed.

See you on the flip side.

Happy cake-day

Today I'm 25!

I'm technically 9 hours and 52 minutes older than my twin brother. Fun fact of the day!

I got a very kindly made insult from Chris as well. It's a cake and well, its alright I guess.

I've started my day by collecting cows and milking. Now I've got five hours off until next milking and I think that will be spent playing Mortal Combat and owning Chris.

We may go out tonight, but as next morning is an early wake up (5:30), it won't be a too big of a deal.

In other news my laptop died. I'll try to fix it but so far I'm shit out of luck. The computer is FUBAR so to speak.

That's it for now. I'll try to keep you guys updated.

Bai bai!!!

Tractors and yabbies

Hey guys!

In Melbourne for a quick visit!

I'm making money and saving it! When I get money back from medicare (hospital visit) I'll have roughly 2000 dollars on my account. It's just going to keep rising as well since Sam and Amanda are going for a holiday. Me and Chris has to work about four weeks in a row, no days off, which will make a good metallic sound as it settles in my bank account. Farm pictures anyone?

The other day we caught and ate something called yabbies. It's basically river shellfish, very reminiscent of a lobster. It tastes like shrimp but "more" if that makes sense. We then started drinking (as per usual) because Mark was leaving! Nooo!

Even though it's shitty that Mark's leaving, I still have Chris the Defiler with me on the farm and we are having a blast. Granted, there is some mum-jokes (sorry Chris's mom), and we do have a kind of borderline morbid and fucked up sense of humour, but it's all in good fun.

I have now driven three different tractors, driven straight into a fence with the quad, sprayed weeds and generally pulling up fence-posts and what not for a month. I was going to leave in the middle of april, but now it looks like I'll stay until may, then have a month of fun before going home in the middle of June. It's going to be a lot of fun and we just have to settle if we go east coast or Asia.

In other news I'm writing quite a lot and my story is evolving quite nicely. I told my plan for it to Chris and he didn't think I could fit all I want into one book. Good for me then that I'm not planning a book, just writing for the fun of it!

Me and Chris are going to try to buy some wifi so I can have some more stable wifi at the house for the coming months. I'll let you know how that endeavor ends...

Now, it's party-time.

Cya's!

Booze cruise with baby cows

Heya!

A lot has happened this past week that I want to tell you about and I really have no idea where to start.

The other day we wrestled baby cows (calves. Yes I know that they are called that) and gave 'em medicine and stuff. Me and Chris were in charge of chasing them into a little cage and then Mark and Sam gave them the medicine. It was easier said than done though. We had to yell, push and force them in the direction we wanted. 

It turned out quite funny though because as you can imagine, me and Chris had some problems getting them to go where we wanted. Chris also got electrocuted and accidently broke a rib on one of the calves when he tried to push her into the cage. Ouch. Poor cow. Chris also got shat one which I found hilarious.

This week we also went on a booze cruise on the nearby river. The "ship" was more like a barge but it had all the essential; A motor, a roof, an esky (cooler) and a barbie (barbeque or BBQ whatever you prefer). On the boat were friends of Sam and Amanda, Scott and Di (the owners), Sam and Amanda themselves and of course their three kids. We had an amazing time and a fair number of beers was poured down out throats. 

It has also been a week of facts. Me and Chris have discovered that you can in fact knock out a cow in one blow. Another interesting fact is that they are also great swimmers. "The more you know"!

Last thing is this; I have now officially seen two, wild, dangerous, snakes in Australia. First one was the death adder on Fraser around 8 months ago (Has it really been that long?) and now, A red-bellied black snake. Yeaaah.

These flies ARE DRIVING ME INSANE. If I had a button that killed all the flies in the world I would press it three times for good measure, even though it meant the death to most birdlife. I don't give a shit. They should all die in a fire and take the mosquitus with them.

Talk to you's later!

 Oh, and here's a painting for good measure!

PS. Till Farmor och Farfar, Mamma och Pappa, Fredrik, Per, Viktor och allas respektive samt vänner och bekanta; Jag saknar er och älskar er! Planen är att komma hem i mitten av Juni. Ses då! (Man vet ju i o för sig aldrig hur länga jag stannar, men det tar vi då!) 

Johannes, glöm inte kebabpizzan när jag kommer hem.

Oh dairy me

I've totally neglected my blog! I'll just have to take the 'bull by the horns' and update it. Shall we 'cow'ntineu?

I'm still on the farm! A lot has been learnt, milkings have been done, fields have been driven across and beer has been drunk. We are now three people living in the little house. Me, Mark and Chris. I've known Chris, or Bat, since I first came to Discovery hostel in Melbourne. He is without a doubt the one that I've spent most time with in Australia, which makes it awesome that he is here.

I am feeling super good and back to normal again. I'm writing a lot on my spare time and watching movies and series. Breaking Bad is really good, just sayin'. Captain Phillips was overhyped. I guess there's 'no reason crying over spilled milk' though. It wasn't bad, I can tell you that.

Anyway, I don't really know what else to tell you. There's not a lot of 'udder' stuff that's happened. Mark is leaving soon, and in a couple of weeks Sam and Amanda are going on a holiday, which means that me and Chris are left to fend for ourselves. Granted, Scott, the owner, will be here so we are not TOTALLY by ourselves, but it does feel that way.

Oh, we also saw a pig escape by lifting a gate today. It was quite funny and me and Chris has been singing "houdini pig" (think spider-pig song) the whole day. He ran away towards the sun and we have yet to see him since. Granted it was about half an hour ago.

That's about it. I'll try to update soon, gotta 'moo've.

Milking and feeling sick

After a four hour journey I got picked up in the little town of Barham, north of Melbourne. Mark was there to help me with my bags and I met Amanda and her daughter. We drove for about ten minutes tops and arrived at a “little” farm. It was hard to judge the size of the farm due to the late hour (approx half ten, eleven) but it looked quite big. While there I got to meet the rest of the family that lives, and works, here on the farm. It was one of those really warm welcomes with a bit of banter and a few beers. They even offered me supper (steak, spuds (potatoes), veggies and gravy) which I gladly accepted. We went to bed at quite a late hour and they gave me the option to sleep in the first day. I declined that offer and told 'em I was ready for action. Let me 'ad 'em!

Day 1:

Koondrook,

Victoria,

Australia,

5:30 am.

I woke up with a total of 30 minutes slept. I don't know why I couldn't sleep but it didn't seem possible. I dreamt of a friend from back home (Yes you Ceciliah) and she was going ballistic about something I forgot to do (or something like that). Now, don't take offence Cicchi, it was only a dream, but I woke up with a start.

Me and Mark ate some brekky and got moving to the big milking house, just passed Sam and Amandas house (Sam is Amandas husband and one of the workers on the farm). Yeah, I forgot to mention; me and Mark have a house by ourselves. Quite nice compared to living in a hostel. Cheap as well. We were wearing sweaters since it was so early the sun hadn't begun burning the life out of the living yet.

We arrived to the milking house and we proceeded to milk all the about 490 cows on the farm. It was quite the experience. Oh, and let me tell you about cows.

Cows are quite filthy animals with quite weird-looking tits. Some of them have foul moods and there's a few that tries to kick you when you try to put on the milking cups. When a cow is ready to “empty it's bowels”, the tail goes straight up and you have a few seconds to step back. If you don't you will be in a world of shit (literally). Luckily, me and Mark keep an I eye out for stuff like that and we are quite good at dodging incoming missiles. The cows get herded on to a big circular revolving platform which has metal beams in the back to stop them from backing up. This beam also stops incoming kicks. And trust me, they kick hard. Ask Mark. He was kicked in the head a couple of weeks ago.

Look at the little spider!

After milking we went with Scott, the owner of the whole place (not Australia stupid, the farm). We helped him fix some pipes, which mostly revolved around us standing knee-deep in bog and handing him tools. After the pipes we were free for an hour or two, until the second milking started. We finished up at around five. By now it was about 40 degrees. It is hot. But it's not the heat that is the worst thing out here. It's not the getting-you-arms-covered-in-shit part either. It's the god damned flies. Argh! Flying into your ears, into your mouth, into your eyes. They're like little sex-legged Japanese suicide pilots, just ten times worse. If you wave 'em away they keep coming back for more. Disgusting little vile monsters are what they are.

We ended the night at Sam and Amandas with a few beers and a lot of games and laughter. Came home WAY to late (around 12ish) and went straight to bed. I stole Marks wifi a couple of minutes to check Facebook than I finally slept.

Day 2:

Woke up at around 5:30 am. It was already warm out. I couldn't believe my ears when Mark said it was already around 25 degrees (It's god damned 5 in the morning!). That's like a peek-summer mid-day in Sweden!

We went for milking again and it felt a little more like I knew what I was doing. We milked the cows for about two hours, then I followed Scott to drag up some poles from the ground. I drove a pick-up behind him to the place we were going, and trust me, it's weird changing gears on the left side. Even weirder driving there. I would like to tell you I used the right (not as in right/left but rather right/wrong) lever to signal, but the movement of the window wipers would give it away.

That is not strawberry milk. Ugh, blood clots

Cow behinds

After the poles Scott said it was way too hot to do much more than the second milking today, so I slept for an hour or so then did the second milking. It went kinda' smooth and we were done in about two hours. We got home, did some workout, then cooked dinner. Roast and wedges. Yeah buddy!

After (and during) dinner we watched Breaking Bad. Mark said yesterday that he wanted to see it from the start again which I didn't mind since I haven't actually seen it. Five episodes in and I can't wait to see the next one. And Mark says it only gets better.

Day 3:

Learnt how to drive a quad and chase some cows through the farm on their way to other paddocks. Yeah. Speed is key. Well not really. Safety is. Well, a key is a key, but you should keep safe. And by keep I don't mean one of those big castles. Oh, and milking. A lot of it. Mmmm. Milk.

Went to the pub and I got a bit drunk. With a bit I mean I was highly intoxicated.

Day 4:

Milking and digging and shit today. Started feeling better after the hangover had cleared up, then worse again when I started feeling soar and cold. I was actually freezing a bit in the fan (it was 46 degrees people).

Day 5:

Probably shouldn't milk or work for that matter. Was feeling shit. Felt shit whole day. Went to bed straight after milking at 17:00.

Day 6:

Slept until 12:00. Yeah that was a looong ass sleep. Not feeling that much better though. Sam and Amanda are getting worried cause I have a temp of 39.5. They think I should get into hospital. I hold out until about 14:00 then I agree with them. After seeing a nurse she thinks it's heatstress. I'm inclined to agree. Drink a shitload of water and sleep A LOT.

Day 7:

Worse. Soggy in head. Feel drunk when I walk around. Diane (owner) drives me into the hospital again and makes them call a doctor after seeing that my temp is 38.8. The doctor comes but the nurses has already put me on drop (Ugh, needles). Docor dismisses me and says that it's just heatstress and that I should be fine. A lot of armwaving. They leave me to my drop for a while, then one of the nurses comes back and takes temp. “Hmm, that can't be right”, she says, showing me the temp. 39.9. Yikes.

I end up spending two full days and four nights at the hospital until I'm any better.

Now I'm back to milking cows and the only thing that I can feel from the ordeal is my stomach. Still am on Antibiotic pills though. Hopefully I'll be fully restored soon! 

The other day we got to shoot some clay pigeons with a shotgun. Fun stuff. 

Oh and by the way, the doctor called again. Apparently I had Rossriver virus. Achievment unlocked.

Cya's!  

Here's a painting forgood measure.

Leaving Melbourne...

... And going dairy farming!

Ha! Who would have guessed? Well not me at least, and it's me who is important. Right? Right?

So this weekend has been all about getting drunk with the people, saying goodbye and what not. The glorious game of in-doors-goon-ukulele-rounders was invented, and there was a lot of goon drinking.

I am finishing up at Chris and Jakob's place and then I'm going to head in to CBD again to buy the last few items that I need. After that it is very unclear of how much wifi I will have, so if I'm absent on social media sites such as facebook, this is why.

What about the job? Well, I think I'll be able to tell you more in a weeks times (If I can). It seems like a good job though. Reasonably payed, working with a good mate (Buffalo), and according to him, nice employers. I'll be working between 4-8 hours a day, 12 days in a row before having the weekend off.

I know this has been said before, but this is a golden opportunity to start working out again and start eating healthier. Yup. It really is. I will also have time to do a lot of sketching and writing, so hopefully I'll not turn super lazy.

How long am I doing this then? Well, according to Mark they want me there three months, which is perfect. That gives me my second year visa and hopefully a few dollars on my account.

I'll update when I can! Bye!

Oh, and here's some photos from the night market in St Kilda!

New year, new stuff happening

Happy new year!

It's 2014. Can you believe it? 

The year of 2013 was an interesting one. I worked as a teacher the first half, and the rest I spent travelling (and drinking, don't forget drinking) around Australia and New Zeeland!

The amount of people I've met, places I've seen and things I've done is humbling to say the least. Hopefully this new year will bring more of that. And hopefully the friends I've made here will keep in contact. I still want to do that Euro-trip though. 

The days go by fast in Melbourne, as do the money. I have searched for work (some at least) and I now live at MIB (Melbourne International Backpackers) which seems okay. 

The new years celebrations was amazing though. We were in Edinborough Gardens where between 10 000 and 15 000 people showed up. Yes it was amazing.

That's it for now. I'll update with more when I feel like it.

Happy new years and fuckin keep those new years promises!

Bai