What's happenin?

Hi guys!

So trying to update a little more with stories and what not. Might be a bit hard to follow. I'll try to make it painfully obvious where, how and when, and I will try not to repeat to much of what I've already written earlier. Okay cobba'?

So the farm. The farm the farm the farm. Where to start? I was at the farm a total of three months. Well, to be fair I was there three and a half almost, but one of those weeks was spent on hospital as well. Cruel world. I made 20 dollars an hour, doing up to 60 hours of work per week. No option to spend a lot of it meant most of that ended up in my account and stayed there! We had our own house, our own car and we even got occasional free food. We had one of the most wonderful families right next door and they had three amazing children. I can't tell you how many nights were spent in their house, drinking their beer, eating their food, playing on their xbox, but I can tell you this; they made the whole experience worth while.
 Moving on from the living and costs aspects (which weren't much since we didn't have to pay for anything), what did we do? Well, we milked about 400-500 cows, two times a day on a big rotary (think massive concrete merry-go-round). It took us just over two hours for each milking to be done (three to four in the beginning (how we managed that I have no idea)), and then we had to clean the dairy. We plowed fields and helped repair pipes. Everything that needed doing. That's that. Let's go into gritty details shall we?
 As when Chris accidentally released all the cows and they had to be chased back into their paddocks. As when I got 50 tonnes of shit kicked in my face and Chris was bent over laughing. As when Chris accidentally drove the loader straight into one of the quad-bikes, crushing it (and totaling it) against a wooden pole. Ah. Good times. But there are some things that are going to stick with me. Stuff I helped do, things we saw.
 Like the cute calves. So, so cute but utterly stupid. Often standing in an electric fence and going "Meeee. Meeee", as the electric currents hit them over and over again. The realization that male calves were worthless and all sent to the butchers when they were around three days old has taken veal straight out of my cookbooks. All the interesting facts about cows, learning how to treat them, learning how to feel and see if something was wrong. Actually finding yourself liking cows in the end. They are amazing creatures that we overlook because of how common (which often means boring to a lot of people) they are.
 One of the more disgusting aspects of dairy farming isn't the tremendous amount of shit you try to clean off, but the cow's problems. Mastitis (clots in the udder) and blood clots, which has to be manually milked out was a daily part of the milking. The complications that could arise when dealing with calving cows. We had one cow for instance that had twins. Sad to say we didn't see that she had a second calf until she collapsed. The vet came and had to remove a one and a half day rotten calf, sawing of the legs of it inside the mother with what looked like thin barbed wire. Me holding the tail up and patting it. Sadly the cow didn't survive. Nature is a cruel mistress.
 Happier things was how fun it was to see the cows jump and hop around when I drove the hay tractor in to feed them. Being nudged softly and complained to by a new mother when holding down their calf to tag and feed it. Petting and feeding the little calves and giving them names. Sitting around the fire at Sam and Amanda's (or Samanda's), having a cold beer and joking around. Going out and getting drunk with Chris, only to wake up a few hours later and start working again.
 What I'm trying to say is that I had a really good time. A time I'll remember for the rest of my life. And I'll definitely head back there if and when I come back to Australia.

So back to the present. We are at Rainbow beach, and on Sunday it's Fraser island again. I'm looking forward to it sooo much. It's going to be legendary.
 Speaking of legendary, me and Chris are being legends on the east coast. We are traveling with our two ukuleles and for the most part people love it. Everyone loves the pirate song especially, and I find myself singing it in almost every place we visit.
 I am running out of money a bit because I just bought my flight home. It's in the middle of June and I am looking forward to see everyone back home. Until then though there is plenty of adventures left. Best part? Everything is payed for. I also have a tax refund to look forward to. And reimbursement from Medicare for my hospital visit. All in all I hope that means I can go to Europe when I'm home and visit all the amazing people I've met so far.

That's it for now. I'll try to be better with the updates but ya know I'm busy having the time of my life.

Cya's!  
   

Quick update on a major turn of events

OI COBBA'

So I'm traveling the east coast again and having A BLAST!

I promise I'll try to sit down and write more in the days to come. What you need to know is that we have already done Melbourne, Sydney, Byron bay, Surfers paradise and now we are in Brisbane!

Byron was nothing short of amazing. Nice beach, awesome hostel (Backpacker's Inn) and people all worth remembering. I really enjoyed being back in Sydney again too. Such a wonderful city. And the Blue Mountains? Amazeballs. Really tremendous.

I am currently at Peter Pan and have to leave 'cause they close. I will update soon again and try to give ya guys more info.

See you on the flip side!

"It wasn't yesterday"

Hi guys! Long time no see.

As you might have figured out my wifi is dreadful. that coupled with a site that functions sporadically equals a dead blog. Also, I'm lazy.

Anyway, so what have I been doing lately?

Well, I have milked, cleaned shit, driven tractors, gone back to Melbourne, headed for Echuca, helped cows calving, fed and treated calves, gone to a footy training (australian football) and become totally spasticated in Barham. Among other things. I have also driven newborn calves on my lap on a motorcycle being covered in mucus and slime, destroyed a quad (technically it was Chris but whatevz) and taught Chris to play the ukulele. *Heavy breathing*

I can't seem to add pictures at all anymore which is a shame. I have A LOT of pictures. Giant moths, scenery, sky-views, newborn baby calves, and countless selfies litter my phone. As soon as I have a working comp I'll try to upload some. In the meantime I'll upload photos on Facebook (I technically live there anyway).

It is now about three weeks until me and Chris are done on the farm and head for the east coast. East coast again, you say? Well I had an amazing time the first time so why not? It just can't go wrong.

I have to go and make steak and chips. Mmmmm gravy with cheese.

I will tell you guys of all the above when the time comes. In the meantime, stay classy Barham

A birthday adventure with fallen cows

Heya!

So last update it was my birthday, and, as you probably have figured out already, I got smashed. Me and Chris went to the two local pubs and talked to a bunch of people. We learnt that the nearest club to go to is roughly an hour away by cat. Sigh.

The morning after me and Chris started milking and let me tell you, I was still drunk when I woke up. Chris was in the same shape as me and of course forgot to shut one of the gates properly which resulted in cows running rampant all over the farm. Needless to say nowadays we are very careful with closing everything properly.

The other days have passed with stuff being learnt and other things getting used to. One thing I can't seem to get used to though, is the gpd damn flies.

Disaster struck yesterday when one of the cows took a slide on the platform. As mentioned, it's just me and Chris ay the moment, so we kinda paniced a bit. Thank god she was able to stand after about fifteen minutes of me and Chris just staring at her wondering what to do.

Today, we weren't as lucky. Because whaddayaknow? Another cow tripped, slipped and fell on the platform. This one however, did not get up again. We had to pull her out from the platform and rescue her, then chase her back to the paddock. What a life for a farmer...

Our new wifi doesn't seem to work properly so I'll try to add pictures later. I promise I'll add some pictures of a baby-calf when I can!

Looking forward to coming home and see all of you guys! First though; 1, make a lot of money, 2, book a party trip, 3, get royaly smashed.

See you on the flip side.

Happy cake-day

Today I'm 25!

I'm technically 9 hours and 52 minutes older than my twin brother. Fun fact of the day!

I got a very kindly made insult from Chris as well. It's a cake and well, its alright I guess.

I've started my day by collecting cows and milking. Now I've got five hours off until next milking and I think that will be spent playing Mortal Combat and owning Chris.

We may go out tonight, but as next morning is an early wake up (5:30), it won't be a too big of a deal.

In other news my laptop died. I'll try to fix it but so far I'm shit out of luck. The computer is FUBAR so to speak.

That's it for now. I'll try to keep you guys updated.

Bai bai!!!

Tractors and yabbies

Hey guys!

In Melbourne for a quick visit!

I'm making money and saving it! When I get money back from medicare (hospital visit) I'll have roughly 2000 dollars on my account. It's just going to keep rising as well since Sam and Amanda are going for a holiday. Me and Chris has to work about four weeks in a row, no days off, which will make a good metallic sound as it settles in my bank account. Farm pictures anyone?

The other day we caught and ate something called yabbies. It's basically river shellfish, very reminiscent of a lobster. It tastes like shrimp but "more" if that makes sense. We then started drinking (as per usual) because Mark was leaving! Nooo!

Even though it's shitty that Mark's leaving, I still have Chris the Defiler with me on the farm and we are having a blast. Granted, there is some mum-jokes (sorry Chris's mom), and we do have a kind of borderline morbid and fucked up sense of humour, but it's all in good fun.

I have now driven three different tractors, driven straight into a fence with the quad, sprayed weeds and generally pulling up fence-posts and what not for a month. I was going to leave in the middle of april, but now it looks like I'll stay until may, then have a month of fun before going home in the middle of June. It's going to be a lot of fun and we just have to settle if we go east coast or Asia.

In other news I'm writing quite a lot and my story is evolving quite nicely. I told my plan for it to Chris and he didn't think I could fit all I want into one book. Good for me then that I'm not planning a book, just writing for the fun of it!

Me and Chris are going to try to buy some wifi so I can have some more stable wifi at the house for the coming months. I'll let you know how that endeavor ends...

Now, it's party-time.

Cya's!

Booze cruise with baby cows

Heya!

A lot has happened this past week that I want to tell you about and I really have no idea where to start.

The other day we wrestled baby cows (calves. Yes I know that they are called that) and gave 'em medicine and stuff. Me and Chris were in charge of chasing them into a little cage and then Mark and Sam gave them the medicine. It was easier said than done though. We had to yell, push and force them in the direction we wanted. 

It turned out quite funny though because as you can imagine, me and Chris had some problems getting them to go where we wanted. Chris also got electrocuted and accidently broke a rib on one of the calves when he tried to push her into the cage. Ouch. Poor cow. Chris also got shat one which I found hilarious.

This week we also went on a booze cruise on the nearby river. The "ship" was more like a barge but it had all the essential; A motor, a roof, an esky (cooler) and a barbie (barbeque or BBQ whatever you prefer). On the boat were friends of Sam and Amanda, Scott and Di (the owners), Sam and Amanda themselves and of course their three kids. We had an amazing time and a fair number of beers was poured down out throats. 

It has also been a week of facts. Me and Chris have discovered that you can in fact knock out a cow in one blow. Another interesting fact is that they are also great swimmers. "The more you know"!

Last thing is this; I have now officially seen two, wild, dangerous, snakes in Australia. First one was the death adder on Fraser around 8 months ago (Has it really been that long?) and now, A red-bellied black snake. Yeaaah.

These flies ARE DRIVING ME INSANE. If I had a button that killed all the flies in the world I would press it three times for good measure, even though it meant the death to most birdlife. I don't give a shit. They should all die in a fire and take the mosquitus with them.

Talk to you's later!

 Oh, and here's a painting for good measure!

PS. Till Farmor och Farfar, Mamma och Pappa, Fredrik, Per, Viktor och allas respektive samt vänner och bekanta; Jag saknar er och älskar er! Planen är att komma hem i mitten av Juni. Ses då! (Man vet ju i o för sig aldrig hur länga jag stannar, men det tar vi då!) 

Johannes, glöm inte kebabpizzan när jag kommer hem.